I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize