my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
