Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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