it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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