we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize