I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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