I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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