New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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