Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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