someone get that fucking seahorse.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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