i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
