Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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