Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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