oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
