I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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