marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
