we're blogging at a bar
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
two words...techno handjob
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
