Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
