I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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