how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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