Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
