Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
