I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
