she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
