I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
