ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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