Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize