I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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