So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
my liver is dry heaving
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
