The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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