Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
