i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
