She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
