Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
