I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
