Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love having hate sex.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
