Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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