did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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