So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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