So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
