I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
two words: eviction party
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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