Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
