I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
