I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
