I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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