handjob tips. give me some.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
