Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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