bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
