I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
