I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
