Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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