hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
