I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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