that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
