last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
