you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
