I hate all girls vehemently.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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