I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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