Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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