I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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