"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
